Good-bye, sweet Finny

This morning the vet called. She said Finny still hadn't really been eating and they were worried about some of his recent test results. She said they wanted to go ahead and put in a feeding tube; but said before they could put him under to insert the tube, he'd need to be stabilized. After the tube was in, we could come in, be trained on how to use it, and then we could take him home.

Within the hour, she called back. My sweet boy had taken a sudden turn for the worse, and we needed to come in right away. We rushed in and they took us back to see him. They were giving him meds through the injection site in his paw, trying to get his numbers back up. He was just lying there under a little heating pad, and didn't respond to us at all. :(

When they did an x-ray, they discovered what looked like a perforated intestine, due to the cancer. Immediate surgery was the only option - but with dropping blood pressure, bilirubin levels, potassium, etc., he would not have been stable enough to survive surgery.

They carried him to us in a little red blanket, and we snuggled him and told him what a very good boy he was and how much we loved him. Then the vet came in and gave him the last injection. He was gone before she had finished.

I miss my sweet boy so much already...

Finn, again

The veterinary ultrasound revealed a thickening in the intestinal wall. After a new barrage of tests, we believe that cancer cells are infiltrating the wall of the intestine, causing ulceration inside of the intestinal tract. (This may also have been keeping him from absorbing all the nutrients in the small amount he was eating.)

We're starting on a new type of chemo tomorrow. They'll be keeping him in the hospital for at least three days to get him going and also to feed him intravenously.

It will be a very long three days without seeing his sweet face looking up at me or having his warm, soft little self curled up beside me at night...

(Hoping it is just three days)

Kitty update

Finny had lost more weight at his last vet appointment, so they did a full round of tests. We feared the worst, but, surprise, the results were the best they'd been in a year. Very encouraging.

The vet did ask me to double up on his appetite pills to see if we couldn't get him to fill out a bit. That should be doable, I thought.

But despite the additional chemical motivation, he's been less interested in eating than ever. It's pretty much 5 bites of food and he's done. I can coax him to take a bit more if I feed him from my finger, but then he turns his back on the plate, and a battle of wills ensues as I follow him around the room begging him to take just one more bite. (I am sure this looks pretty comical. But an empty tummy seems to makes him feel worse, so it is important to try to get him to eat.)

We think the current round of issues can be attributed to the pancreatitis. While it's a relief to think that it's probably not the end stages of the cancer, it is still hard to see him like this.

I am trying him on a new pill to see if it helps. And I think I will also let him take the lead on eating today. I know that every ounce I can get on his body now may give us critical leeway later, but I think maybe a day off from the feeding stress would be a good thing for us both.

The Lotus-eaters

On Superbowl Sunday, one of the quilt stores in the vicinity had a pretty impressive sale. I was trying to exert some kind of self-control, so when I saw a gorgeous Kaffe Fassett lotus leaf fabric, I told myself sternly that it wouldn't work for any of my current projects, and left the bolt there on the shelf.

I kept thinking about it, though. And as we were standing in line to check out, DH made the mistake of asking if I had gotten everything, or if there was anything else I wanted. I admitted sheepishly (from underneath my great stack of fabric) that that there might still be one more thing. Just then, a woman walked by carrying the lotus fabric. "THAT one!" I blurted out.

The woman glanced over at the exclamation, so I smiled and explained I was considering getting some of the fabric too. Could I have the bolt after she was done getting her piece cut? Well, she cradled the bolt possessively to her, and told me she was buying the whole thing(!) for the back of a queen sized quilt. Alas. I expressed regret that I had missed my chance earlier; but assured her (on a more positive note) that her quilt would be beautiful. She paused, and said reluctantly that she supposed she could let me have some of the fabric if I really needed it. But it was abundantly clear that she really had hoped to take it all home with her. And since I didn't have an actual plan for it, and couldn't really justify making a request without it, I politely declined.

But I couldn't get that fabric out of my head. I saw it around in other colorways, just not in the shades I loved the best. Maybe, I sighed, it would just have to remain another of those missed opportunities, one of the unattainables of which you dream...

Then today we ventured into town to one of our less-frequented quilt shops. And there it was, my beautiful lotus fabric!

I scooped up the bolt and headed straight for the cutting table. As I handed it to the woman who was doing the cutting, another customer craned her neck over and started ogling my fabric. "Oh, that's a beautiful print!" she said, "...How much are you getting?"

And suddenly, I found myself struggling to resist the urge, like the woman at the last shop, to claim that I "needed" the whole rest of the bolt! I am almost sure that I blushed as I pointed out the other colorways in a rather transparent attempt to redirect her attention elsewhere.

Consoling myself for my foolishness later on, I recalled that no less a literary personage than Odysseus spoke of the addictive nature of the lotus, and how it drove all sense and other thoughts from one's head:

"[O]n the tenth day we reached the land of the Lotus-eaters, who live on a food that comes from a kind of flower. Here we landed to take in fresh water, and our crews got their mid-day meal on the shore near the ships. When they had eaten and drunk I sent two of my company to see what manner of men the people of the place might be.... They started at once, and went about among the Lotus-Eaters, who did them no hurt, but gave them to eat of the lotus, which was so delicious that those who ate of it left off caring about home, and ... were for staying and munching lotus with the Lotus-eaters without thinking further of their return"
(Book IX, The Odyssey)

Tennyson, speaking in the (collective) voice of Odysseus's sailors, spoke of the lure of the lotus (or lotos) in terms befitting drug addicts.

So, all things considered, methinks my wee addiction to such a delicious lotus fabric may be not entirely without precedent.

Me also thinks that I should restrict use of such a dangerous and addictive fabric to the backing of my own quilt, so as to avoid being accused of being a pusher!

Fun with pixels

I found a Scottie dog block online, and it occurred to me that if I blew up the size and extended the background a bit, I could make the block pattern into a really cute one dog baby quilt. I showed it to DH, and he said that the doggie needed a ball to play with too, so I added that in. Here's what the resulting quilt pattern looks like:



I have a deep gray fabric with a nice mottled look that could work very well for the doggie; the background will simply be a variety of light and medium-light blues; and the ball will probably be red, unless I simply have to use red for an inner border, in which case I'll just play and see what looks best.

Simple, cute, and nice light-dark visual contrast for a baby. :)